Large Size: How To Cope With It [Body Positivity]

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In this post I’ll give you some advice to accept and love your body, no matter what size you are. I’ll focus especially on weight gain because I experienced it: I went from a size M to a Large size in a very short time, so I’d like to share my story and how I coped with this change. You have to learn to love yourself: it’s not easy, but if you really want it, you can do it with the right mindset. Let’s dive into it!

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Having self-confidence is as important as wearing a nice dress, one that suits you perfectly; however, having such positive approach with your own body is not always so easy. There are days when it's difficult to accept that we're large women, I know this kind of feeling because it happens to me too: this is part of the human nature and depends on many factors. Today I'd like to share my story with you and give you some tips in order to help you improve your self-confidence and be a body positive person.

MY STORY

I've gained and I've lost weight in a rather cyclical way over the years, but starting from 2008 things got out of hand. What happened?

I've had thyroid problems, specifically Graves' diseas, a form of hyperthyroidism. The diagnosis was rather difficult at the beginning, I wasn't even in my city (which is in southern Italy), I was on business at the border with Switzerland. The first symptoms were psychic in nature: easy mental fatigue and difficulty in attention, irritability and mood swing, insomnia. After a while, the tremors and tachycardia, hyperphagia and irregular menstruation started. The diseas was clear when goiter and exophthalmos appeared.

I've been treated, but I'll not dwell on this, I'm not a doctor. However, after 9 years of treatment, I had to undergo top priority surgery because this disease was seriously endangering my life.

This was me in 2016

This close-up dates back to about a month before the surgery

Two months after the surgery, I weighed 20 kg more! It was a real trauma for me. I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror, I stopped taking care of myself, I didn't even want to leave my house and I was slowly falling into a state of depression. In the end in 2018 I had taken another 10 kg, despite having a healthy diet and exercising.

This was me after a few months after the surgery. The pic comes from one of my first articles, this one

I didn't see a way out, I felt bad, I felt ugly.

WHAT HAPPENED THEN?

Seeing me in a very worrying state, my hubby tried to spur me in some way: he proposed to open a blog. Why a blog? He thought that doing something that would get me out of my comfort zone like getting ready and take pics to show myself, could help me to improve my condition. I was obviously reluctant, it was unthinkable for me to show myself to the world, no way!

Luckily I'm a curious person so, even if I wasn't attracted by his idea, not at all, I started looking for personal style blogs on the net, managed by curvy and large women. I was amazed by them! They were so beautiful and so confident in their own skin, while I just wanted to tear mine off. 

It was really difficult to get out of that comfort zone (I took my first pics at my home or at least in front of it!), but I got a taste of it and it was fun! I noticed that people who read my posts focused on outfits and clothes, not on my size! So, with commitment and patience, between ups and downs, I studied and slowly grew up with my blog. It's been over two years since I started writing here on Color Me Fall and I would't stop at all!

Be positive :)

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ACCEPT YOUR OWN SIZE? 

So, in my case, the large size :) Girl, nobody will check your pants' size, I assure this to you. L is just a letter, just like the S and the M and all the other sizes. The most important thing to do is forget what is written on the label and take note of your flaws and merits; you have to realize that all your features put together create a unique person: YOU! I did a very simple thing to take note of all my peculiarity, that is to write a list. In fact, making a list always helps me during the everyday life: I better visualize what to work on, how to avoid mistakes and improve what needs to be improved. So, I suggest you to write a list if you're never done it before.

P.S. This is me now: there's a metabolism problem, but I'm working on it! :)

Start with small step, writing one of two things at a time, take your time. Once you've finished your flaws and merits list, start evaluating them; you should ask yourself: can I change this thing? How can I change it? If I can't change it, how to accept it? Probably the solution will not arrive in a moment, even understanding how to solve a problem can take time; however, this doesn't mean that there is no solution. It means that everyone has their own times and they must be respected.

Write a list to better visualize

  How to accept your body? Well, there are some tips to to feel more positive, to face the day with more confidence and I want to share them with you!

 HOW TO ACCEPT YOUR BODY?

There are some little things you can do daily to start your acceptance journey; however, you must have the will to change your mindset, turn into a positive person. I assure you that if you'll do this, your whole life will change for the better! Facing life with a negative attitude doesn't help to find your problems' solution; to think positively about the present, day by day, yes, it will work!

1. FIND A HOBBY

You have to fill the gaps. I noticed that, in my free time, my mind always revolved around the same points: "I don't like myself and nobody likes me" "There is no way out" "I can't be what I want to be". You will help your mind to divert thoughts from negative things by replacing them with new ideas, new ways to improve yourself and creativity! For example, blogging is my "way out", but for you it could be anything you're passionate about: read, draw, sing, sew, you can take care and grow some plants or a garden, you name it!

Dedicating yourself to a hobby helps you fill in the gaps

2. FREE YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE!

I say this very often. Remove negativity-carrying people from your life! Whoever. They. Are. You have to take care of your mental and physical health and those people are not good for this purpose. During the last year I removed many of these people from my life and not only in the real life, but on social networks too. My mood has improved a lot! I only want positive vibes.

Free yourself from negative people

3. FOCUS ON YOUR QUALITIES

When you look at yourself in the mirror, focus on your qualities. They are there, even if you can't see them! Take five minutes of your time every day and stand in front of the mirror: look at yourself with an objective eye, identify your qualities and understand how to enhance them. Over time, it will become easier. For this purpose, the list I told you about earlier will surely help you. If you're stuck doing this at first and you cannot see your qualities no matter how hard you try, ask a loved one to help you find them.

It's important to take note of both your flaws and your qualities

4. ENHANCE YOURSELF

You should enhance your body with clothes too. Identify your body shape and which styles and items suit you the best. Get rid of clothes that don't fit you anymore and of ones you've been keeping for too long hoping of wearing them one day: you have to choose the right size for you (yes, even if it's the Large size! There's nothing wrong with that and I repeat myself again, no one will check the tag on your clothes). And also get rid of the fashion standards, wear your favorite clothes in other ways too, play with your creativity. I don't deny that there will be "no-days", but there will be very few of them in an ocean of positive days, so you don't have to let them put you down.

Speaking of clothes, I'd like to open a parenthesis before moving on to the next point. It's now quite easy to find plus size women's clothes which are also sustainable, like Vestiaire Collective for second-hand and vintage clothes, Eileen Fisher which is ethical and eco-friendly and Adidas for sport apparel, so take a look at them! You can also take a look at this post, you'll find some ideas about clothes that make me feel more self-confident.

Wear your real clothing size in order to feel at ease with your body

5. POSTURE

It's very important to have a correct posture and your mood is also affected by it. This is probably the most difficult part, I still have some difficulties in mantaining it: I have a tendency to look at the ground while I walk and my shoulder curve forward. However, day after day, I can keep the correct posture for longer. Erect bust, straight shoulders and head up when walking, without lingering step by step and you'll look more confident. When you're sitting try to not curve yourself: keep the same posture as when you're standing, maybe help yourself with the right chair.

Having a correct posture help you look more confident

6. IMPROVE YOURSELF

All that we have said doesn't mean that you should stop improving yourself and leave things as they are. You have to do something to improve your situation if you don't like it. However, rather than cry over yourself, find your problems' solution with a more positive, less anxious state of mind and you'll see that slowly you'll get to the results you want, with the right times; but you'll do it with a clear and organized mind and in confident way.

It's right to improve yourself

These tips are my experience's results, as a person who didn't accept her way of being and now I can even take pics with my chubby belly in plain sight! I assure that they work and if you can apply them constantly to your daily life, they will help you overcome the bad times ;)

One more tip: smile! Always smile! There's nothing more beautiful than seeing a person smile :)  If you smile, people around you will also smile back at you.

Read also: 15 Cozy Clothing Pieces To Work From Home

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HEY, I CARE ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS!

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR BODY? WHAT'S THE HARDEST PART FOR YOU TO ACCEPT?

SHARE YOUR OPINION IN THE COMMENT FIELD :)

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